From a young age I’d always been curious about the male body. I remember watching a movie when I was around 8; there was a guy stripping on top of a bar to try and make some quick cash for his on-screen love interest. My eyes were glued to the tv screen as Adam Garcia (yes, I was watching Coyote Ugly, if you hadn’t guessed it by now) ripped off his shirt whilst performing seductive poses in order make the crowd interested. He certainly got me interested. I moved closer to the tv screen as he slid off his belt, I wasn’t sure why, I didn’t know it was possible to be attracted to guys at that age. But as he slowly unbuttoned the top of his jeans, I knew I wanted to see more. Of course, you can all understand my disappointment by this point as he stopped pulling down his jeans not nearly half-way down. Gutted.
Not long after this, I started to go through puberty. Yes, I was a very early developer, which didn’t help the feelings I didn’t realise I had towards guys at that point, either. My hormones were raging and like most [all] young guys around that age, I needed to find a release. Once I started masturbating, I think it was around then it hit me that I fancy boys rather than girls. Back then obviously, gay was still frowned upon so I had to hide these feelings. Luckily, I had an on-and-off girlfriend throughout the whole of primary school so no-one could have suspected anything different about me.
Everything changed once secondary school started, however. From my very early days there I was outed for being gay, which back then I had to dismiss it as it was still frowned upon. The torment and denial continued until I started 6th form. Half-way through the academic year on New Year’s Eve, I started to come out to everyone. This was mainly down to all of my gay internet [twitter] friends who encouraged me to do so. By the end of the year, everyone at 6th form finally knew the real me and it was making me become more popular.
That summer, I met up with a gay guy from twitter. We met just as friends, as at the time he had a boyfriend. Our meets soon became a regular occurrence and after about 6 months, I realised I was madly falling for him. This was my first love. Unfortunately, it didn’t end well as this guy turned out to be pretty evil so I don’t deem him worth even talking about. After this, I was receiving non-stop heartache from even more guys. The fact I was still a virgin sort of turned them all away. Yes, I was a 19 year-old virgin.
It wasn’t until a couple of months ago from writing this blog I actually did have my first sexual experience. Again, this experience also ended badly (emotionally). This was a turning point for me. Gone were the days of the little country boy up north who didn’t get any! I decided the best way to make up for all the sex I’ve missed was by doing porn. Prior to this, I was a successful cam4 model which I enjoyed a lot after gaining myself a following.. but it did start to get boring jerking off in just front of a camera. This made me send off my first application to start in the gay porn industry.
The day of my first shoot soon came around. I had completely no-idea what to expect. Even having stayed at the director’s house the night before. I met the guy I were to be working with, Aaron Aurora, that morning before we went over to get ourselves checked at the clinic before the shoot. This got me even more nervous as he was far too cute for myself to be even be sitting next to. We soon both headed over to the studio and my nerves were going through the roof.
Being on set felt very strange. Having only ever watched porn myself, behind the scenes of it were completely different to how I expected. A lot more professional. However, I soon got the hang of it and found the shoot a lot more enjoyable; although I fear my nerves may have stood out on camera with it being my very first ever shoot. Of course, I’m still yet to find out, so I’m hoping it went okay.
Just over a month later, I’ve worked on 5 more shoots and each one have been a completely different experience, though I’m a lot more confident in my work now and believe I’ve learned a lot from each of the models I’ve worked with. I definitely don’t regret doing sending off my first application now as I’ve gained many new experiences, both on-screen and off-screen, and have gained valuable advice from the numerous people I’ve worked with thus far and I cannot wait to start filming more movies.
New Gay Porn Model and Writer ready to blow your screens and more! Follow and cum along the ride with me.. ;)